Am sitting amidst this mixed fragrance of sorts of candles ,fragrance sticks and flowers from nearby temples . These soothing breezes , melody of waves striking the staircase ,fragrances and the chants of shlokas and Artis with jingling bell on bank of river Ganga here at Varanasi have become an integral part of me in these past 4 years but from the past 2 months all these have started stinging in my eyes. The ghats known for their quietness and peace are upsurging a scream inside me. Sitting here at the lower banks with legs dipped in the river, watching the waves coming and getting away I too want to get away with these waves somewhere else and not to return anymore. Each day with sun setting back I found myself sitting here far away from the people ,all alone and somewhere lost in my own world, bidding sun a goodbye and welcoming the harmonying dark within me.I have been doing this for past 4 years when I first came to this city but from the past 2 months this have been hard to come and sit here. 4 years back coming to this city from a small nearby village was a totally different experience for me. This city bought me a new view and way to life. Being new and all alone I made these refreshing banks my first companion here. Soon I got admitted in college, got friends but the love and visits to these banks remained same. It was a one such rainy evening ,we were just roaming ,passing gossips when in the dizzling shower of light drops I saw her for the first time with shining rain droplets on her face and raining love through her eyes . The rain that day had showered the love for me. She later turn out as a mutual friend of mine, we got introduced ,started meeting, became Friend and don’t know exactly when started to like each other. Our love started, got cherished here at these banks only. But a 2 months earlier she left me and everyone else alone here when she met a accident and despite of all the prayers and efforts she was gone. Now 4 years past the same day we met here for first time, it is raining again ,the tears are getting lost in raindrops . The rain is washing the outer me but the inner fire stays lit . The pain and the sorrow remains same . I closed my eyes and all those memories went through my eyes all of a sudden . I hear a voice from a group passing by sideways “someone is there all wet in rain, must be drunk.” I looked at them smiled with the lips only as the eyes denied ,get up and went away. ©Kaushik #dilkiaawaj #river #Love