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Santhanamullai Mohan

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Santhanamullai Mohan

Happy Birthday Appa.
I have loads to say lots to share.
But it feels like my throat is constricted and the words got stuck inside.
Like I always say,
Days speed off.
But, when the darkness hoovers above us,
Reality starts sucking my sanity in a gruesome way.
I get consumed by the cruelty of your absence.
I stumble down.
Letting the gravity engulf me on a cold marble stone.
I clutch my aching heart and watch me bleed.
Not bothering to mend my cracks.
I further wish to stay the same.
Either take me in your arms again.
Or let me go astray.
I don't dare wanting anything in between. Miss you...

Miss you...

Santhanamullai Mohan

I realised that I feel insecure in front of happiness... Insecurity....

Insecurity....

Santhanamullai Mohan

Hope can light up a torch inside a damp dark alley. Let's not kill that lil girl called hope❣️
#fightback #hope

Let's not kill that lil girl called hope❣️ #fightback #Hope

Santhanamullai Mohan

My calm demeanor seems to be fading out
Images of me,
standing in rain at the edge of a mountain, clutching tight to my hair while shouting my pain out
Scribbling on my notepad shredding the pages to pieces and burning them to ashes.
Cutting every inch of my skin and lying down in my own pool of blood while smiling wide
Is flashing in my mind...
I can only close my eyes and groan in this frustrating pain.. i don't even have anymore glass vases left to break. I feel like I've become the darkest soul.. and a dark writer..

All credits to the picture owner. I took it from Pinterest.

I feel like I've become the darkest soul.. and a dark writer.. All credits to the picture owner. I took it from Pinterest.

Santhanamullai Mohan

I wish this dream ends and when I wake up I'll see you calling me down for dinner.. Miss you around... #missingyou

Picture credits: all credits to the respective owner. The picture is taken from Pinterest

Miss you around... #missingyou Picture credits: all credits to the respective owner. The picture is taken from Pinterest

Santhanamullai Mohan

Soft drizzles were pitter pattering against my window
Along with the breeze's soft murmurs.
Wrapped in a thick duvet, my closed eyes playing the images of our days together.
Hugging myself a lil tighter, I let the tears drench my pillow.
It's cruel how our time together was cut short and how heartlessly my fate snatched you from me.
storm started breaking loose outside and inside.
Heavy wind banging against my closed windows started leaking through its gaps making me shiver.
A melody that my speaker is humming is silenced by the monstrous rumbling of thunder.
I'm laying there cold and alone listening and feeling all this chaos... Death can really pull us apart...i miss my dad and Today i lost my last grandad I'm left with. Wow I've seen more deaths in this past one and half an year. It looks like I've become numb...I'm laughing at my own reflection..I thought I would cut myself up or atleast bang my head or fist against the wall.. but looks like I'm very much tired to even stand up lol... Frustration building in me I'm laying down all numb...
#missyou #death #love #heartbreak #brokensoul #rain #lonely #cold
Picture cre

Death can really pull us apart...i miss my dad and Today i lost my last grandad I'm left with. Wow I've seen more deaths in this past one and half an year. It looks like I've become numb...I'm laughing at my own reflection..I thought I would cut myself up or atleast bang my head or fist against the wall.. but looks like I'm very much tired to even stand up lol... Frustration building in me I'm laying down all numb... #missyou #Death love #HeartBreak #brokensoul #rain #lonely #Cold Picture cre

Santhanamullai Mohan

Have you ever listened to a song and felt that it's stirring fire in you?
Like your devil hiding deep is getting unleashed?
You throw your head back ,
Eyes closed,
Mouth slightly parted open,
Tip of your tongue touching your upper lip.
Your head resting on the bed post.
While your legs are stretched out on the soft mattress
Shaking your feet rhyming with the beats.
When the song ends you open your eyes now red.
You tilt your head and smirk
slowly coming down from high.
While still half held to the intoxicating ecstasy.
And you replay it. That's what good music does to me..
#Manèskin #Songasm #music #fastbeat #drums #song

That's what good music does to me.. Manèskin #Songasm #Music #fastbeat #Drums song #Song

Santhanamullai Mohan

Me sitting on the cold hard floor.
My knees raised up, my chin resting on them.
Not caring to wipe the tears flowing down I wonder.. Don't I too deserve at least some amount happiness!!? It looks like There'll be no fair treatment in this life of mine...

It looks like There'll be no fair treatment in this life of mine...

Santhanamullai Mohan

Sometimes I do get this feeling that words are not enough to display my broken soul.
Everywhere is shattered beyond repair .
It's bleeding all around.
And the words I put there don't seem to cover the length and depth of my wounds.
Do you feel the same sometimes? Sometimes i desperately want to quit...
#cinemagraph #woundedsoul #brokenheart #depression #question

Sometimes i desperately want to quit... #cinemagraph #Woundedsoul #brokenheart #depression #Question

Santhanamullai Mohan

I'm looking at my reflection.
Both the sides of my emotionless face are getting wet.
My eyes are pouring unbearable pain out.
My memory lane played the sound of your laughter.
and the final battle you went through in front of my eyes.
Both your laughter and your suffering mixed as the saddest tune is slipping inside my soul and is drilling a huge hole.
My bleeding heart is unable to stop my grief-stricken eyes from pouring it's deepest dejection out . My mouth only left a faint noise calling you out....
#appa #lost #comeback

My mouth only left a faint noise calling you out.... #Appa #lost #comeback

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