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I lay flat on the floor to breathe in dust that alludes you when you are at home. I see far off in buildings a little light shining bright. Someone is burning the midnight oil while I choose to tip over under the weight of my commitments. Contemplating what to do next I walk over to the edge of my balcony and lean over to feel the head rush pulling me below while I keep my feet grounded. Leaning back is a luxury, falling down is inevitable, and in between, my feet hold me back. Love is one of many such uncalled, complicated feelings. Tendencies #thumbsizedstories #ep53 #cinemagraph #calmkaziwrites

I lay flat on the floor to breathe in dust that alludes you when you are at home. I see far off in buildings a little light shining bright. Someone is burning the midnight oil while I choose to tip over under the weight of my commitments. Contemplating what to do next I walk over to the edge of my balcony and lean over to feel the head rush pulling me below while I keep my feet grounded. Leaning back is a luxury, falling down is inevitable, and in between, my feet hold me back. Love is one of many such uncalled, complicated feelings. Tendencies #thumbsizedstories #ep53 #cinemagraph #calmkaziwrites

CalmKazi

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Every challenge is a brick laid down in the utopian yellow brick road of fascinating outcomes. Some which are mere imaginations than reality. What’s real is just a recycle of what you think is your best work but arguably was a little less than perfect. So you try more. You reach more. You grasp at straws that never exist. You live with, die through , resurrect and resuscitate your own self-pity manifested as effort. Then it’s worth it all. All of this is a byproduct of a neural synthesis called hope. There is no people here who never do this, everyone irrevocably goes through this vicious cycle. There are no winners, and no losers, because it is never a race, it is just an understated but regular-enough-to-pass-off-as-good cup of tea. You like drinking it, you keep sipping on it. And that ..... is life. Untitled #thumbsizedstories #ep52 #calmkaziwrites #yqbaba #musings #365days365quotes

Every challenge is a brick laid down in the utopian yellow brick road of fascinating outcomes. Some which are mere imaginations than reality. What’s real is just a recycle of what you think is your best work but arguably was a little less than perfect. So you try more. You reach more. You grasp at straws that never exist. You live with, die through , resurrect and resuscitate your own self-pity manifested as effort. Then it’s worth it all. All of this is a byproduct of a neural synthesis called hope. There is no people here who never do this, everyone irrevocably goes through this vicious cycle. There are no winners, and no losers, because it is never a race, it is just an understated but regular-enough-to-pass-off-as-good cup of tea. You like drinking it, you keep sipping on it. And that ..... is life. Untitled #thumbsizedstories #ep52 #calmkaziwrites #yqbaba #musings #365days365quotes

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Sometimes I stumble upon something inspiring but I am not in the right state of mind to get inspired from it. So and so much that it doesn’t deserve a page in my diary. Henceforth I will jot it down on a random piece of paper. I am still searching for where to hide it though. It shouldn’t come to me in a dream or something, it should rather pounce on me like a cat. I finally stuck it in a graphic novel of mine, part 3 of 3. I am reading the first one right now and found another note from me to myself. It is better to be on the back of a napkin or a post like this than permanently forgotten in my diary. I do have some pages there which I never like to read. #thumbsizedstories #ep51 I still don’t think I want to have a titular objective to this thought. I want to encase the form and the flow but not the thought. That’s the whole beauty of writing for me in a nutshell. I want to be able to read how I wrote it, not when, what and about whom. I always tell her it is all about her and she knows. No confusions there.

Sometimes I stumble upon something inspiring but I am not in the right state of mind to get inspired from it. So and so much that it doesn’t deserve a page in my diary. Henceforth I will jot it down on a random piece of paper. I am still searching for where to hide it though. It shouldn’t come to me in a dream or something, it should rather pounce on me like a cat. I finally stuck it in a graphic novel of mine, part 3 of 3. I am reading the first one right now and found another note from me to myself. It is better to be on the back of a napkin or a post like this than permanently forgotten in my diary. I do have some pages there which I never like to read. #thumbsizedstories #ep51 I still don’t think I want to have a titular objective to this thought. I want to encase the form and the flow but not the thought. That’s the whole beauty of writing for me in a nutshell. I want to be able to read how I wrote it, not when, what and about whom. I always tell her it is all about her and she knows. No confusions there.

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DAYS SPENT NOT TALKING I do wonder, what “spending” is when joy has limitations. Most of my time is without you, now; and it is not that normal. So the few days “spent” out not talking, is essentially a few Earth-turns lost in the whiff of my timelines. Several of them have been concocted, one about us meeting, one about us always catching the crappy movies, there is another one about my feeble attempts to cook, a specific one about teaching you how to pour tea. Suddenly they all have stopped. My walks have now become heavier around the house, like someone switched on the gravity machine. Every morning is like a rainy day in school, one where I don’t want to get out of bed. My time swindles around checking messages and chats, even emails, perhaps. My teas are an abysmal task which involves drinking and cleaning up all alone. Movies ... well I went to see a sad one and salted the popcorn with my tears. Everyone thinks you are as alone as you choose to be. My issue is when you are never alone and just away from each other, it is much harder. When you are out and in before I wake up and after I sleep, I see you not the whole day, are the days that are lost on me. #daysspentnottalking #thumbsizedstories #ep50 Read all episodes by clicking on the hashtag above. —————————————————- Late to the party, as usual. Looking to write more on this, as usual. #calmkaziwrites

DAYS SPENT NOT TALKING I do wonder, what “spending” is when joy has limitations. Most of my time is without you, now; and it is not that normal. So the few days “spent” out not talking, is essentially a few Earth-turns lost in the whiff of my timelines. Several of them have been concocted, one about us meeting, one about us always catching the crappy movies, there is another one about my feeble attempts to cook, a specific one about teaching you how to pour tea. Suddenly they all have stopped. My walks have now become heavier around the house, like someone switched on the gravity machine. Every morning is like a rainy day in school, one where I don’t want to get out of bed. My time swindles around checking messages and chats, even emails, perhaps. My teas are an abysmal task which involves drinking and cleaning up all alone. Movies ... well I went to see a sad one and salted the popcorn with my tears. Everyone thinks you are as alone as you choose to be. My issue is when you are never alone and just away from each other, it is much harder. When you are out and in before I wake up and after I sleep, I see you not the whole day, are the days that are lost on me. #daysspentnottalking #thumbsizedstories #ep50 Read all episodes by clicking on the hashtag above. —————————————————- Late to the party, as usual. Looking to write more on this, as usual. #calmkaziwrites

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10 years ago ... When heady teenagers walked into an unknown fort of knowledge and busybodies. When they realized they could have done better and decided to go with it. When phones had hard keys and conference call was a feature, SMS was 20 Rs per 1000 and phone dates were as serious as real ones. When we decided we should get faster internet and moved to broadband. When we had procrastinated night outs for leisure. When asking a girl out was an achievement. It was an year that I made a few very good friends and it was an age when we clicked photos on cameras. Our Instagram was live in lecture rooms and our memes were actual pranks on each one. 10 years ago, life was slow and we were fast enough to be at it’s pace. #thumbsizedstories #ep49 #collabchallenge #10yearschallenge #10yearsago Check my profile for the prompt quote #calmkaziwrites #yqbaba #365days365quotes 15/365

10 years ago ... When heady teenagers walked into an unknown fort of knowledge and busybodies. When they realized they could have done better and decided to go with it. When phones had hard keys and conference call was a feature, SMS was 20 Rs per 1000 and phone dates were as serious as real ones. When we decided we should get faster internet and moved to broadband. When we had procrastinated night outs for leisure. When asking a girl out was an achievement. It was an year that I made a few very good friends and it was an age when we clicked photos on cameras. Our Instagram was live in lecture rooms and our memes were actual pranks on each one. 10 years ago, life was slow and we were fast enough to be at it’s pace. #thumbsizedstories #ep49 #collabchallenge #10yearschallenge #10yearsago Check my profile for the prompt quote #calmkaziwrites #yqbaba #365days365quotes 15/365

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\\Uneasy\\ #thumbsizedstories #ep48 //Uneasy// Twiddling my thumbs while sitting alone in my living room I think about the small morsel of sadness I share with this world. Being done with all my chores, having eaten a meal, diminishes it a little, but by and large it is still a lingering thought. My latest issue is both being jobless and dearth of attention. I never wanted to be an attention monger, but lately I have found myself longing for it a lot. I can handle being jobless as long as I attend to

\\Uneasy\\ #thumbsizedstories #ep48 //Uneasy// Twiddling my thumbs while sitting alone in my living room I think about the small morsel of sadness I share with this world. Being done with all my chores, having eaten a meal, diminishes it a little, but by and large it is still a lingering thought. My latest issue is both being jobless and dearth of attention. I never wanted to be an attention monger, but lately I have found myself longing for it a lot. I can handle being jobless as long as I attend to

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//उपहार// “बड़े दिनों से सोचा है, आज ज़रूर ख़रीदूँगा” दानिश के कमज़ोर कंधे आज पसीने से तर हो चले थे। मज़दूरी का रोज़गार आज कुछ काम आने वाला था। वह राह चलते मंटू से बाज़ार का रास्ता पूछता निकल गया। उसकी रोज़ की मैली बनियान आज चूँकि तर हो चुकी थी तो कोयले सी खाल पर गमछे सी पड़ी थी। अपनी मुट्ठी में कुछ सिक्के और नोट पकड़े वो बरबस फलाँगे भरता उस सड़क पर चल पड़ा। #thumbsizedstories #ep47 //उपहार// “बड़े दिनों से सोचा है, आज ज़रूर ख़रीदूँगा” दानिश के कमज़ोर कंधे आज पसीने से तर हो चले थे। मज़दूरी का रोज़गार आज कुछ काम आने वाला था। वह राह चलते मंटू से बाज़ार का रास्ता पूछता निकल गया।

//उपहार// “बड़े दिनों से सोचा है, आज ज़रूर ख़रीदूँगा” दानिश के कमज़ोर कंधे आज पसीने से तर हो चले थे। मज़दूरी का रोज़गार आज कुछ काम आने वाला था। वह राह चलते मंटू से बाज़ार का रास्ता पूछता निकल गया। उसकी रोज़ की मैली बनियान आज चूँकि तर हो चुकी थी तो कोयले सी खाल पर गमछे सी पड़ी थी। अपनी मुट्ठी में कुछ सिक्के और नोट पकड़े वो बरबस फलाँगे भरता उस सड़क पर चल पड़ा। #thumbsizedstories #ep47 //उपहार// “बड़े दिनों से सोचा है, आज ज़रूर ख़रीदूँगा” दानिश के कमज़ोर कंधे आज पसीने से तर हो चले थे। मज़दूरी का रोज़गार आज कुछ काम आने वाला था। वह राह चलते मंटू से बाज़ार का रास्ता पूछता निकल गया।

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//On Reading// What does a book tell you? All the knowledge you want to read? All the unknown facts you want from it? I like to think of a book as a person. Someone who wants to tell me a story. I want to listen in to the end. Moreover I want it to have the time to say it. It already told me how much time it’s going to take. I already gauged the weight and length of the conversation. All I need to do is listen. It’s not an agreement but a selfless relationship, like the one with my brother. He knows when I’m bored, he knows when I want to hear more. He knows how to keep the bookmark in place. So why is a book so personal to a bibliophile? It is because he listens to it and the book says it in his own mind’s voice. It details an etching on his own blank canvas. Each book you read is an impressionist, because they leave a mark with every stroke of the brush and leave you wondering what more can I see that I missed the first time? //On Reading// Another Episode of #thumbsizedstories This time it’s #ep46 #365days365quotes 4/365

//On Reading// What does a book tell you? All the knowledge you want to read? All the unknown facts you want from it? I like to think of a book as a person. Someone who wants to tell me a story. I want to listen in to the end. Moreover I want it to have the time to say it. It already told me how much time it’s going to take. I already gauged the weight and length of the conversation. All I need to do is listen. It’s not an agreement but a selfless relationship, like the one with my brother. He knows when I’m bored, he knows when I want to hear more. He knows how to keep the bookmark in place. So why is a book so personal to a bibliophile? It is because he listens to it and the book says it in his own mind’s voice. It details an etching on his own blank canvas. Each book you read is an impressionist, because they leave a mark with every stroke of the brush and leave you wondering what more can I see that I missed the first time? //On Reading// Another Episode of #thumbsizedstories This time it’s #ep46 #365days365quotes 4/365

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//Nothing// Some days while looking at my Instagram TL, I let the stories autoplay and place the cellphone aside. In that moment I let my urge to listen but not try to understand, take control. These little instances tell me how I break down a little every time I dedicate myself to be a good listener and a good human being. People chip at each instant of energy you leave in this world, you have to ration it at times. Some days I just like to be left alone to let those talking, babbling, bungling, partying colorful bubbles empty themselves while I stare into nothingness and do exactly what I want. Nothing. #thumbsizedstories #ep45 Nothing #calmkaziwrites #365days365quotes 3/365

//Nothing// Some days while looking at my Instagram TL, I let the stories autoplay and place the cellphone aside. In that moment I let my urge to listen but not try to understand, take control. These little instances tell me how I break down a little every time I dedicate myself to be a good listener and a good human being. People chip at each instant of energy you leave in this world, you have to ration it at times. Some days I just like to be left alone to let those talking, babbling, bungling, partying colorful bubbles empty themselves while I stare into nothingness and do exactly what I want. Nothing. #thumbsizedstories #ep45 Nothing #calmkaziwrites #365days365quotes 3/365